Hifz - Now or Never
Hifz - The Last Attempt
I'm now in my 30s. Working stupid shifts in hospital. My family are hugely on my case to get married. It's my last big chance to do the one thing I need and want to do before what limited spare time will inevitably be taken away once I get married, and that is the memorisation of the Quran.
Previous hifz attempts - at age 13 sent by my mum to local madrassah where I just rebelled, left and played football every day after school for the remainder of my schooling years. Time in which I could have easily memorised the Quran. Time in which hundreds of others, not necessarily the brightest, memorised the Quran because of one simply quality - consistency. They didnt complain, they didnt moan, they just went to their maktabs every day after school and by their late teens they were huffaz.
Second attempt was when I was on a year out at age 20. I started off seriously, memorised a couple of juz then got distracted by training, I had to get a full time job. I had no understanding of Arabic and more than that I still had no self-discipline or consistency, no prioritisation. My days would start late, then waste time on the internet or on my phone...it was just a mess. Most of the effort was expended in thinking and planning about hifz rather than actually doing it. Additionally, as mentioned I did not know a single word of Arabic. Since aged 20, I have left all attempts at Hifz, busy with medschool and additionally perhaps resigning myself subconsciously to the fact that it just probably wont happen.
I have an issue though. Once a fire is lit within me, I cant put it out until it's complete. I switched to medicine many years ago when perhaps I shouldnt have. With my heart not being in it, I stumbled through medschool, I watched many, many people drop out and give up - individuals whose lifelong dream it was to become doctors yet at the first or second stumble they gave up and left. I kept persisting though, through some very dark times. And in the end when I qualified as a doctor, that fire was finally put out, I was finally at ease. Frustration due to other aspects of life such as very limited finance at present (I'm supporting everyone in my family), but never any regret over the lost years.
I have two burning fires left - the main one being Hifz. It's now or never. If I dont get it done now, I know once I get married (unless it is to someone who is extremely understanding and/or who is also doing hifz) then it will just never happen.
Over the last 2-3 years I have had it in my mind that I will restart Hifz and I will see it through to the end this time inshAllah. But two things will be different this time from my early teens or when I was 20:
1. The implementation of self discipline. This is something I have developed in recent years and is the one quality that separates successful people from the unsuccessful. As an example I gave up sugar and fried food in June 2014 as a one year experiment, and until now (Nov 2015) I have not touched it.
2. The use of Arabic. I will not learn any word unless I know it's meaning (the basic meaning).
My Arabic Until Now
2007 - I started learning Arabic, via a '3 week crash course'. I wont name the group but I would say is that I would never recommend a crash course for anyone. A language is learnt over years. And Arabic is a multidimensional language for a Muslim. There is Quranic Arabic, an Arabic in its own right. There is Modern Standard Arabic if you want to speak and read newspapers and understand Arabic news etc and then there is classical Arabic literature, the Ahadith books, the works of Imam Ghazali, Ibn Taymiyya. Where you need a solid grounding in grammar and from what I can see that no amount of self learning can prepare you for. You need to be trained to read these texts under scholars who utilise a tried and trusted system.
My Arabic learning since 2007 has been haphazard. Although I dont like putting blame on others, and its the easiest thing to do, I was part of a course that was teaching Arabiyya Baina Yadaik but that kept stopping every 10 weeks. After every 10 weeks, for various reasons, they would take a 'break' often up to a year or even longer. The one thing you need when learning a foreign language in a non-native environment on a part time basis is continuity. So in 2012 I made sure I enrolled on to GCSE Arabic course which at least had structure to it and exams at the end of the course. I then went on to AS level and currently doing A2. At this point its more just finishing the A level because I started it (once again). We're studying literature but not Islamic texts. My spoken Arabic has come on leaps and bounds alhamdulillah. I can hold a decent conversation in Arabic and was told several times earlier this summer in Palestine by natives that my Arabic was better than theirs. I suspect though that was because they are a hugely kind people in general or simply because they are not accustomed to speaking in fusha whereas that is all that I speak.
Over the last few years I've accumulated a fairly significant amount of Arabic vocabulary using ANKI and the other not so big secret of achievement - self discipline. Most of this vocabulary has actually been acquired without any context. I'm not a fervent advocate that you have to learn vocabulary in context.
Vocabulary wise I would say I understand 70% of what I read in the Quran alhamdulillah.
Anyway, the other big issue was and still is grammar. I have tried various (expensive and ill advised) online courses, I have worked through various MSA 'master verbs' books but I've come to conclude that probably the only way to get on top of grammar is to study on traditional 'part time Alim' course which is now what I am doing. Two lessons a week at a well known institute in Birmingham. Every week we do some sarf (verbs I really, really need to get on top of, all the different variations that a single verb can take are a source of frustration but I suspect will become a source of great admiration on my part once I get on top of the system). We also do some nahw every week but in this course its not just dry grammar, the teachers are very keen to show the implementation of the sarf in nawh in the Quran. This week for example we - or I should say they since I wont finish work until 10pm this week and so miss all the lessons - will start working through Surah Fatihah. But alhamdulillah week by week I am learning slowly and surely more and more grammar and can understand more of the tashkeel in the Quran which will no doubt serve to make hifz easier and also the practice of the Arabic learnt.
I'm now in my 30s. Working stupid shifts in hospital. My family are hugely on my case to get married. It's my last big chance to do the one thing I need and want to do before what limited spare time will inevitably be taken away once I get married, and that is the memorisation of the Quran.
Previous hifz attempts - at age 13 sent by my mum to local madrassah where I just rebelled, left and played football every day after school for the remainder of my schooling years. Time in which I could have easily memorised the Quran. Time in which hundreds of others, not necessarily the brightest, memorised the Quran because of one simply quality - consistency. They didnt complain, they didnt moan, they just went to their maktabs every day after school and by their late teens they were huffaz.
Second attempt was when I was on a year out at age 20. I started off seriously, memorised a couple of juz then got distracted by training, I had to get a full time job. I had no understanding of Arabic and more than that I still had no self-discipline or consistency, no prioritisation. My days would start late, then waste time on the internet or on my phone...it was just a mess. Most of the effort was expended in thinking and planning about hifz rather than actually doing it. Additionally, as mentioned I did not know a single word of Arabic. Since aged 20, I have left all attempts at Hifz, busy with medschool and additionally perhaps resigning myself subconsciously to the fact that it just probably wont happen.
I have an issue though. Once a fire is lit within me, I cant put it out until it's complete. I switched to medicine many years ago when perhaps I shouldnt have. With my heart not being in it, I stumbled through medschool, I watched many, many people drop out and give up - individuals whose lifelong dream it was to become doctors yet at the first or second stumble they gave up and left. I kept persisting though, through some very dark times. And in the end when I qualified as a doctor, that fire was finally put out, I was finally at ease. Frustration due to other aspects of life such as very limited finance at present (I'm supporting everyone in my family), but never any regret over the lost years.
I have two burning fires left - the main one being Hifz. It's now or never. If I dont get it done now, I know once I get married (unless it is to someone who is extremely understanding and/or who is also doing hifz) then it will just never happen.
Over the last 2-3 years I have had it in my mind that I will restart Hifz and I will see it through to the end this time inshAllah. But two things will be different this time from my early teens or when I was 20:
1. The implementation of self discipline. This is something I have developed in recent years and is the one quality that separates successful people from the unsuccessful. As an example I gave up sugar and fried food in June 2014 as a one year experiment, and until now (Nov 2015) I have not touched it.
2. The use of Arabic. I will not learn any word unless I know it's meaning (the basic meaning).
My Arabic Until Now
2007 - I started learning Arabic, via a '3 week crash course'. I wont name the group but I would say is that I would never recommend a crash course for anyone. A language is learnt over years. And Arabic is a multidimensional language for a Muslim. There is Quranic Arabic, an Arabic in its own right. There is Modern Standard Arabic if you want to speak and read newspapers and understand Arabic news etc and then there is classical Arabic literature, the Ahadith books, the works of Imam Ghazali, Ibn Taymiyya. Where you need a solid grounding in grammar and from what I can see that no amount of self learning can prepare you for. You need to be trained to read these texts under scholars who utilise a tried and trusted system.
My Arabic learning since 2007 has been haphazard. Although I dont like putting blame on others, and its the easiest thing to do, I was part of a course that was teaching Arabiyya Baina Yadaik but that kept stopping every 10 weeks. After every 10 weeks, for various reasons, they would take a 'break' often up to a year or even longer. The one thing you need when learning a foreign language in a non-native environment on a part time basis is continuity. So in 2012 I made sure I enrolled on to GCSE Arabic course which at least had structure to it and exams at the end of the course. I then went on to AS level and currently doing A2. At this point its more just finishing the A level because I started it (once again). We're studying literature but not Islamic texts. My spoken Arabic has come on leaps and bounds alhamdulillah. I can hold a decent conversation in Arabic and was told several times earlier this summer in Palestine by natives that my Arabic was better than theirs. I suspect though that was because they are a hugely kind people in general or simply because they are not accustomed to speaking in fusha whereas that is all that I speak.
Over the last few years I've accumulated a fairly significant amount of Arabic vocabulary using ANKI and the other not so big secret of achievement - self discipline. Most of this vocabulary has actually been acquired without any context. I'm not a fervent advocate that you have to learn vocabulary in context.
Vocabulary wise I would say I understand 70% of what I read in the Quran alhamdulillah.
Anyway, the other big issue was and still is grammar. I have tried various (expensive and ill advised) online courses, I have worked through various MSA 'master verbs' books but I've come to conclude that probably the only way to get on top of grammar is to study on traditional 'part time Alim' course which is now what I am doing. Two lessons a week at a well known institute in Birmingham. Every week we do some sarf (verbs I really, really need to get on top of, all the different variations that a single verb can take are a source of frustration but I suspect will become a source of great admiration on my part once I get on top of the system). We also do some nahw every week but in this course its not just dry grammar, the teachers are very keen to show the implementation of the sarf in nawh in the Quran. This week for example we - or I should say they since I wont finish work until 10pm this week and so miss all the lessons - will start working through Surah Fatihah. But alhamdulillah week by week I am learning slowly and surely more and more grammar and can understand more of the tashkeel in the Quran which will no doubt serve to make hifz easier and also the practice of the Arabic learnt.
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